


Heartsearchers

by Mrs_Leslie_Knope



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-10 21:24:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15300324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Leslie_Knope/pseuds/Mrs_Leslie_Knope
Summary: Turns out that Kayleigh was telling the truth when she said she wasn't going to wait forever for him.





	1. Chapter 1

Turns out that Kayleigh had meant it when she said that she wasn't going to wait forever for him. Rick and Donnas wedding had been and gone and their relationship hadn't really progressed at all. He wanted to blame Kayleigh for being so patient. If John wasn't pushed he'd often just stay put. With her being so understanding and not forcing things he played it safe which lead to this moment.

“John. I don't want to fight but I think you should know that this was our last car share.”

“Ye what?!”

“A maternity cover promotions management job came up at one of the stores nearer our Mandys. I put me self forward for it and got it. All going well, if Amy doesn't come back from her leave I'll be kept on and if not they'll give me back my old position at their store.”

“Aww Kayleigh that's great. You'll do well at that. Rumour has it that Amy is not looking to come back. She's just claiming she will so she can keep accruing leave. Why would you want to stay at their store if she does 'appen to come back? Oh I can keep taking you to work, I don't mind. Means we can still see each other each day.”

“You're not getting it John.”

“Not getting what?”

“I didn't go for this job for job progression. I'm doing this to give us a clean break.”

“Wha..what do...what are you saying?”

“You know what I am saying. I'm setting you free. Lets face it. We were never going to go anywhere, were we? I gave you space, I waited my time and nothing. I just wish you could have been honest with my from the start that you were not interested. I told you I didn't have time to waste.”

“I told you I just needed time. Of course I'm interested. I wrote you a bloody song, didn't I?”

“Oh John, don't give me that. We could live til we were 80 and it wouldn't have been enough time for you. As I said, I don't want to fight. I still lov...care about you. I just think it'll be easier if we don't have to see each other every day. We can both move on.”

“Kayleigh, please don't do this.”

“I have to.” She says leaving his car for the last time.

He sat there in shock as he watched her enter Mandys. He wanted to get up, chase her and tell he what an idiot he had been but yet again fear held him to the spot. His eyes watered as he put the car in gear and sped off to get home.

Thankfully no-one was in when Kayleigh got home. She shut the front door behind her and burst into tears. She dropped her handbag and slowly slid to the floor against the door. All she wanted was for him to make some kind of grand gesture to show that he cared and loved her as much as she did for him. Maybe she did live in a fairy tale as it appeared that it was never going to happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johns first day without Kayleigh

John had tried texting and calling Kayleigh quite a few times over the weekend with no success. He got a text back on Sunday night that simply said “Buying a new sim card in the morning so this number will no longer be in use. Take care, K.” He knew by the lack of kisses and banter that he shouldn't expect a text tomorrow with her new number. She was doing this to break the only method of contact they still had. 

Sleep didn't come easy that night for either of them. For Kayleigh she was heartbroken but also very nervous about her new job. She was excited about her new job but would sacrifice it for John in a heartbeat. John tossed and turned the whole night. He used to sail in and out to work and nothing would happen but slowly he got used to the excitement that Kayleight brought to his life. Never a dull moment when she was around! 

Monday came and went and John fell into a deeper depression. The drive to work seemed longer even though he no longer needed to go 45 minutes out of his way. His trips to keep an eye on promotions felt pointless. The only reason he took any interest was to catch a glimpse of Kayleigh. John sat at his desk looking and feeling utterly miserable. Dave Thompson chose that moment to walk in.

“Christ John. Who pissed in your cornflakes?”

“No-one. What do you mean by that?”

“You've had a face like a slapped arse all morning. This isnae something to do with your wee pal Kayleigh is it? I tell ya, we are better of without her. When that other store asked for a reference I was willing to tell them whatever shite I needed to to get them to take her off of our hands.”

“You what? Kayleigh might be a little feisty at times but she always put the customers and her job first when she were 'ere so lets have bit of bloody respect for someone who isn't even here to stick up for herself. Alright?”

John was absolutely furious. Usually he would sit back and portray indifference to Daves comments about Kayleigh but it appeared that a broken heart and lack of sleep could change a man. He was ready to walk out if Dave pushed him too far.

“Christ, she got her claws into you, didn't she. Gotta watch that one John. You'll be safer with her out of the way.”

John balled his fists up at his sides and counted to ten.

“Excuse me Dave. I've got some place else I'd rather be.”

John left work and got into his car. He was halfway to Kayleighs store when he decided to pull over and think about what he was doing. He wanted so badly to go in there an officer and a gentleman style but knew that things might no go down well. She obviously wanted him out of her life. So much so that she left a store she loved working at where she had so many friends. She even changed her number to close communication with him. Besides he didn't want to stress her out on her first day or give her new colleagues a reason to gossip about her. He wanted her to succeed and be happy. If that meant that it was without him then he would have to deal with that. Turning the radio off, he pulled back out onto the road and headed home.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks had passed since Kayleigh and John had spoken. It was safe to say that both were feeling sad and pretty miserable. Kayleigh had thrown herself into her new job and was already a hit with all the staff. She has shown herself to be a great motivator and had some fantastic ideas which were already showing with improved sales figures over the short period she had been with them. She was thankful that Steve had stopped asking about John when she got home, she thinks her Mandy had a word with him or he had started to pick up on the wobble in her voice each time she came up with a reason as to why they hadn't spoken. He may have also noticed that her heartshaped lamp had disappeared from view. She didn't have the heart to throw it away but it was too painful to look at so she stored it safely under her bed.

John wasn't doing much better at all. He was starting to get a reputation like the rest of the management – grumpy and uninterested. He sat at his desk in a daze and could hear the hushed voices of Elsie and Cath Hilton in the canteen.

“Oh Cath, have you heard how our Kayleigh is getting on?”

“I shouldn't really discuss this with you Elsie but I can say that we've heard great things from her new store. She was awarded employee of the month even though she had only been there for two weeks. Sales are going through the roof.”

John smiled to himself. He was so proud of her, wished he could tell her that in person. He missed her so much. He'd give anything to be back in the car with her, even if they were arguing about something stupid.

“I hear she's been a hit with the men over there too. She's already been asked out by three co-workers. Heard she turned them all down though, said you don't shit on your own doorstep. Not that she needs them anyway, I hear she's been getting quite a few winks on that heartsearchers but you didn't hear that from me. I'm not a gossip.”

“Yes, of course not Elsie. Right, back to work.” Cath said trying to get rid of Elsie. Cath had a soft spot for Elsie. Elsie claimed to not be a gossip but was in fact the biggest gossip known to man. Her 'non gossip' had been the cause of many fights in the store but her heart was in the right place and it was never from a place of maliciousness, she just simply couldn't keep her big trap shut!

Hearing this news did nothing to improve his mood. So much so that he had already handed out two warning that morning and the staff were avoiding him like the plague. The whole afternoon his mind had been filled with scenarios of Kayleigh getting married and having babies with someone else. He tried to be mad with her but couldn't be. He got himself into this mess. Bollocks to love he said to himself but even as the words left his mouth he knew he didn't mean them. He wished he could go back in time and grow a pair. He should have known that she would eventually start dating again but hearing that she had officially put herself back on the market again gave him heart cramps.

Home time came and John rushed out to his car. He sat for a few moments contemplating what to do. He couldn't go on like this. He missed her, just wanted to speak with her, hear her laugh, see her smile. He rested his head on his steering wheel and took a deep breath and searched his mind for something he could do to win her back. Then he realised that maybe she genuinely had moved on and perhaps there was no longer a place for him in her life any more. She didn't even offer him the option of staying friends. He drove home, once again in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Kayleigh arrived home from work with a spring in her step for the first time in weeks. She had recently been awarded employee of the month which in itself was an amazing achievement. Didn't hurt that an additional paid day off and some vouchers also came with the title. 

“Wow Kayleigh, did you win the lottery or something? First time I've seen you smile in ages.”

“Thanks!” She replied sarcastically.

“Oh come on. We all known you've been down in the dumps since you finished things with John.”

“I didn't finish things with John. You can finish something that never was.” She said as she grabbed her bag and went up the stairs.

Popping her phone on charge she decided to grab her ipad out of the drawer and log into heartsearchers.com to see if she had any new winks. She had a few new messages since she updated her profile pictures. Mandy had treated her to a mini makeover after the first week of her new job, claiming it was a congratulations for her temporary promotion. In reality it was probably a gift to cheer her up as her sister was probably more than aware that her low mood was down to man troubles. Most of the messages that Kayleigh received were from perverts who were only after one thing. Kayleigh was pretty oblivious to how beautiful she was. She liked to take care of herself – nice hair, tan and gets her nails done but never realised how attractive she was. She blocked the weirdo's that were asking to meet up for a 'good time' and sent replies to the ones that seemed to be interested in something more than a one night stand. Just as she was about to log off she got another message through from someone called Johnny Castle. Although she was tired and really needed to get ready for work the next morning, she couldn't put off replying to Johnny. After all, he shared the same name as the main character from her favourite film, Dirty Dancing.

Johnny had messaged her saying that he was new to heartsearchers and when he came across her profile he couldn't not message her seeing as her screen name was Frances Houseman. He asked her about her interests and what music she liked. 

A few more weeks went by and Kayleigh was messaging Johnny on a very regular basis. They spoke about anything and everything. For the first time in a long time she felt like a weight had been lifted. She initially felt guilty, like she was cheating on John but she dismissed those thoughts everytime they tried to fill her head. He had his chance, he clearly didn't want her or love her like she loved him. She needed to do this and besides Johnny was funny and seemed really sweet. She really wanted to suggest a meet up but didn't want to rush things or scare him off so decided against asking him just yet. 

Days later Kayleigh was sat in the canteen at work eating her lunch alone. One of the things her promotions staff loved about her was that she would cover the floor alone so her staff could all go for lunch together. She would then go alone once they returned. Kayleigh is definitely a people person so she felt a little lonely when she first started this system. However, now that she was in constant message tag with Johnny she was glad to get an hour of peace so she could message without interruption. Getting ready to go back to the shop floor her phoned tinged informing her that she had another message. She smiled when she seen it was from Johnny saying that hungry eyes had just been on the radio and it reminded him of her since it was her favourite film. She took a deep breath and replied with the following -

“Want to meet up soon? xxc”


	5. Chapter 5

John was sitting as his desk having his lunch when Cath Hilton entered.

“Alright John.”

“Alright Cath. How's things? What can I do for ya?”

“You mind if I escape here for lunch? Dave is being a right arseclown today so I need to escape our office and Elsie is in the canteen. I can only deal with so much gossip in one day.”

“Aye, no bother Cath. Grab a seat. You don't have to tell me twice about that Elsie. I got roped into dropping her off home after the works party. Never shut her bloody mouth the whole time!”

They sat in silence for a few minutes whilst Cath ate her sandwich and John finished his brew.

“So John. Don't take this the wrong way but I've noticed that you seem to be in better spirits these days. Can we take it that you and Kayleigh have sorted yourselves out?”

“What are you on about Cath?”

“Oh don't play coy with me John, everyone knows that you two were into each other. I'm not sure exactly what happened with Kayleighs sudden desire for career progression but I am happy that you are seeing each other again, you bring out the best in each other.”

“Kayleigh and were not and are not seeing each other. We haven't seen each other since her last day at this store.”

“Well in that case, I don't know who is responsible for your sudden change in mood but I think I speak for us all when I say we are very appreciative for it. You're a good person John, we don't need another Dave Thompson!”

“Christ. Is that what everyone has been saying? Does everyone think I'm some kind of miserable arsehole?”

“No, not at all. Just a few people had mentioned that you had been a little more...eh...”

“Spit it out woman!”

“A little bit of a grumpy basta..”

“Alright, alright. Got the picture.”

“You asked! Look I'm just letting you know. We'll say no more since you seem to be returning to normal.”

With that Johns phone beeped informing him that he had a message. He looked at the screen and seen it was his heartsearchers app telling him that he had a message from Frances Houseman. Cath spotted his beaming smile and reddened cheeks.

“Must be some woman!” Cath said as she left his office.

“Yeah, she is.” He said aloud to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

John had quite an eventful few weeks. He decided to grab the bull by the horns (well as much as he could) by signing up for heartsearchers.com . He had no idea what he was thinking by signing up but if this was the only means of speaking with Kayleigh then he was willing to sign up for anything. Picking a user name came rather quickly, he had watched Dirty Dancing not long after Kayleigh had told him that it was her favourite film. He popped Johnny Castle in the user name box and hit register. Seems like he chose a great name, Johnny was close to his own name and upon being able to search for users in his area he came across Kayleighs profile. Seems she really was his pefect half – her screen name was Frances Houseman! He almost didn't recognise Kayleigh from her profile pic as she had changed her hair. It was just a little over shoulder length now, less curly and slightly darker. She looked stunning, no wonder she were getting so many offers her way!

He didn't know what he was thinking or doing, when he messaged her the first time. He just needed to speak with her. He missed her, she made him laugh, she made him smile, she made him happy. A part of him also wanted to protect her from the creeps that she often found she attracted.

Things had progressed quite well between them over the past few weeks. They talked about films and music but didn't give away too many personal details. She was quite honest with him about her trying to move on, that she had been in love with someone who didn't return her feelings. He wanted to reply that he did and he was sorry for being such a coward but knew it wasn't the time to take the risk by telling her who he was. He wanted to tell her so many times as he felt guilty that he was keeping this from her but he brushed those feelings aside as this was the only way he could speak to her. Besides, she might be happy when the time came where he felt he had no choice to come clean.

She'd asked him a few times for a picture and he'd so far managed to avoid having to share one with her. He knew that he could only keep this up for so long as she would become suspicious that he was avoiding her request and presumably she would want to meet. He'd keep this up as long as he could and just take each day as it comes.

He felt lighter and happier in the weeks he had been messaging Kayleigh. Guilt continued to eat away at him but the joy he got from reading her messages helped him block that emotion.

He'd just finished up having lunch with Cath Hilton when his phone informed him that Kayleigh had sent him a message. He gulped. Seems like d-day had come. He could either fob her off or accept whatever fate had in store for him. Phone in hand replied with two words - sure, when? X


	7. Chapter 7

Kayleigh squealed out loud when she got Johnny's reply. He wanted to meet too! She replied back to him suggesting they meet up for tea on Friday night and suggested a high end restaurant/bar that was just out of town. It was cozy with private booths in the bar section and the restaurant connected to it was rather fancy with a piano player and small dance floor for couples who wanted to slow dance. The music was not too loud so you could hear what you were saying to each other.

John was excited but also petrified. He didn't know if he should tell her who he was before their date or turn up and hope for the best. He prayed that she wouldn't be too mad and see it as a romantic gesture. If not, he'd feel terrible for wasting her time. In the end he decided he was going to keep his mouth shut and keep his fingers crossed that she would at least give him enough time to explain. Given the opportunity he was going to tell her how he really felt and beg for a second chance. Life without Kayleigh was grim. He was so proud of her for making something of herself. God help him, he didn't think he'd get over it if she rejected him.

Kayleigh on the other hand was on cloud nine. She had treated herself to a whole new outfit, down to the underwear. Not that she was planning on sleeping with Johnny on the first date. She wasn't easy, never was. Kayleigh thought sex without love was pointless. She just liked wearing nice underwear, made her feel sexy which made her feel confident. The way things were going she could see herself falling in love again. Johnny reminded her of John, he had the same banter and taste in music and films. Lying in bed at night she would try and imagine what he might look like and every time John came into her head. She tried to stop herself thinking of him but couldn't which made her feel guilty as Johnny didn't deserve that. She tried to be as honest as she could with him and had told him that she was in the process of getting over lost love.

Friday came around quickly and John was pretty sure he had developed a stomach ulcer. Nerves and guilt were eating away at him and he wasn't sure if he was going to make it to the bar without being sick. He picked up a new suit and shoes earlier in the week, not only to make a good impression but after an offhand comment Cath had made to him about his clothes looking a little baggy. He went through his wardrobe that night and pretty much everything was a size or two too big. He hadn't actively been trying to lose weight, it started with an off hand comment from Kayeligh about the crinkle chip cutter. He knew she meant no malice from the comment, just an honest concern about his health. Kayleigh wasn't a shallow person. So first the chips got cut out (just for health purposes) then the upset of Kayleigh walking out of his life he lost his appetite. It also meant no stops at the drive through for muffins, or morning stops for a fat boy. Too busy worrying about his love life or lack there of, he failed to notice the pounds melt away.

Kayleigh had decided to cash in her extra day off so she'd have plenty of time to get ready without having to rush. She decided to sleep in that day, just so she would still be wide awake come date time. No use showing up with more bags than you'd find at an airport under your eyes. Just after lunch she headed to her local beauty salon where they did her hair, nails and make up. Once home she put on Now 48 and proceeded to get dressed into her new dress. All that was left to do was pack her handbag and call a taxi.

John left work a half hour early. He cleared it with Dave earlier in the week who apparently couldn't give two monkeys. He just replied to the request with a 'whatever' and started moaning about something Elsie had done. 

Once in the door he grabbed a quick shower and took time to make sure that he styled his hair neatly and had a clean shave. Suited and booted he sent a quick message to Kayleigh to check that they were still on for tonight and to confirm that the table had been booked under the name Johnny. Seconds later a reply came from Kayleigh saying that she was excited and would see him there at the agreed time. Confirmation received, John called a taxi to take him to the hotel he had booked. For once he decided that he was going to start letting loose and having some fun. He had booked a hotel near the bar so he wouldn't have to worry about having a drink, he thought about a taxi or bus but looking at the taxi prices a £29 Travelodge was cheaper and by bus timetable he'd have to leave his date by 9pm to get home. If things didn't go well at least he had somewhere close to go lick his wounds. If things did go well he's be a perfect gentleman and go with Kayleigh in a taxi to see her home safely before returning to his room for the night. Another reason he wanted to get a hotel was because he didn't want to risk Kayleigh spotting his car before they met at the venue. He was so worried that she was going to figure it out before they met and he would never get the chance to try and win her back.

Kayleigh arrived first and was seated at their private booth for only a few minutes before John arrived. John quickly ducked behind a pillar and took a deep breath. He gave himself a pep talk, telling himself that he could do this. Kayleigh might be hurt and angry with him right now but she was still Kayleigh. She was kind, generous and forgiving. He just prayed that she would hear him out with a minimal scene – this was a nice place after all! He took one last deep breath and walked towards the booth. 

Kayleigh clocked someone walking towards her booth out the corner of her eye. She smiled and looked up before doing a double take. Was that John?

“John?! John, what are you doing here? I'm just about to meet someone so if you don't mind.” She said pointing to the door.

She obviously hadn't realised what was happening and he now had an opportunity placed right there in front of him to make her believe that Johnny had stood her up. That way he could be the good guy and she's never have to know. He looked at her sitting there, gorgeous as ever and couldn't do that to her. Couldn't make her believe that someone had deemed her not worthy. Besides good relationships were built on trust and he wasn't going to start theirs – if they were to have one – on a lie.

“I know, that would be me. Hi Frances, I'm Johnny. nice to meet finally meet you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are interested about Kayleigh's dress. Just image the one that Sian wore to the NTAs in 2018 but in the colour red.


	8. Chapter 8

Kayleigh gasped so loud that the other patrons of the restaurant turned and stared. She wanted to scream and shout but no words came, eventually their audience got bored and returned to their dinners.

“Kayleigh, love just hear me out OK.”

Kayleigh didn't want a scene so she kept her voice as low as she could muster in the situation.

“How could you? How could you do this to me? How could you trick me? Lie to me? Make me feel so stupid? Did you have a good laugh at me telling you about how I pinned over you? How could I be so stupid?” Words were flying out of her mouth in one giant sentence. She got up to leave and John placed his hand on her arm to stop her. She jumped as if she had been scalded.

“Kayleigh, please I am begging you to sit down and listen to me. Just let me explain and I promise if you let me say my peace I'll never bother you again if that's what you want.”

Her eyes welled with tears and she nodded and took a seat once more.

“Please don't cry. I'm sorry I hurt you then and I'm so sorry that I'm causing hurt now.”

“I can't believe you lied to me.”

“I didn't lie to you. I just failed to tell you who I really was.”

“Oh well, that makes it all OK then. I'm out of here.” She said, grabbing her bag, ready to head out the door and never look back.

“Please, please don't walk out on me again. I'm sorry that I omitted the truth about who I really was. I just missed you so much, I couldn't live without you. You cut me out of your life, I were devastated. I didn't know what I were thinking. I overheard Elsie telling Cath Hilton that you were back on heartsearchers. I was crushed.”

“I don't see how that would bother you John. You had your chance, you made it clear that you were not interested. I told you I wasn't going to wait forever and you still made no effort. I don't see what's changed.”

“Nothing's changed. I loved you then and I love you now.”

Kayleigh was stunned. John had finally said the words she had longed to hear but it felt...wrong almost. She often fantasied about him telling her he loved her, none of those fantasies involved this scenario.

“Love? Love? You don't love me John. If you did you wouldn't have done this to me. Why are you so interested in me now? Just because you overheard Elsie gossiping about a dating site? I think you don't want me but don't want anyone else to have me either.”

“Just let me explain. None of that is true. You said you knew me, you know I'm not like that. I would never deliberately hurt you.”

“I thought I knew you John but I think I was wrong.”

John leaned over the table and took her hands into his. Surprisingly she didn't pull away. He slowly rubbed his thumbs over her soft skin.

“I know I mucked up. I were scared when you first told me how you felt. Not because I didn't feel the same, quite the opposite. I told you I'm not good with these things. I..I thought I were in love twice before in my life. When those relationships ended I was hurt, lost. I vowed I would never let me heart get broken again and that I would be safe if I just kept people at arms length. The truth is that I was completely smitten with you since our first car share which is amazing considering you covered me in piss! It shocked me because you were not me type.”

At this Kayleigh looks absolutely crushed, a single tear escapes her right eye. She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes. She bows her head to hide the devastation shown on her face. In her head this was confirmation that it was one sided, the flirting and affection had been in her head the whole time.

“No no no. I'm getting this all wrong. What I mean is you were outgoing, honest, kind and gorgeous. Never in a million years would I have gone for someone like you. You were way out of my league. Women like you don't go out with grumpy, overweight men like me. I never even considered that you would be interested in me. The more I tried to ignore the attraction I had towards you the harder it got. I thought about you all the time. You made me laugh, you made me a happier person. When you gave me the CD I told myself that you were just being you usual friendly self, that it was nothing more than friendship. That you would have done that for anyone. Deep down I'm sure I knew what it meant and it frightened me. I pushed the whole thing to the back of my mind and said that I would just take it each day at a time. Then that day you told me that you liked me I didn't know how to react. You forced me to confront how I had been feeling. You know what happened that day, then we made up and we agreed to take it slow. You were perfect, you gave me space and didn't push me into anything. Like I said, I were sad after Anna and Charlotte but life went on. The truth is Kayleigh, I don't think I could go back to life without you. Fear got to me and I was worried that if things started to get serious that you wouldn't like the real me and you'd leave.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I know you. Well I thought I did before this stunt. I just...why did you join heartsearchers? Why didn't you tell me who you really were?”

“I wasn't thinking. I just missed you. I didn't join to hurt you or trick you. I just missed you and after you changed you number I thought it was pretty clear that you never wanted to see or speak to me again. I swear that I never wanted to hurt you. I am so sorry that I hurt you but I've had time and I know I'm ready for this if you just give me a chance.”

Kayleigh contemplates Johns word as removes her hands from his to fetch a tissue from her handbag. She dabs her eyes to soak up the tears that have been flowing. Thank goodness for waterproof make up, aside from her slightly red eyes her face was still looking as flawless as ever. John knows that this likely to be his last chance. He'll either walk out of this restaurant feeling like he's won the lottery or as a broken man. His chest is tight and it feels like he has a woodpecker in there trying to peck it's way out.

“I just...” She sighs feeling torn. She loves him so much and doesn't doubt his sincerity but she also knows that John pulls away when frightened. She doesn't think her heart could take it if she gave him another chance and he let her down again.

“The thing is John. I'm scared too. I'd never been in real love before you came along. I gave up working in a store I love, left me friends so I could move on. Don't get me wrong, the move was great for me career wise and was a distraction but if I let you in and you let me down how would I cope? I wouldn't. I want to forgive you but I just don't think I could take that risk. I'm not doing this to hurt you or punish you. It's not me trying to get revenge, I just need to protect my heart.”


	9. Chapter 9

The music that was so quiet in the background suddenly felt loud and overwhelming in Johns ears. Have you ever by Brandy was on, of all the bleeding songs. 

“Listen I can't take back what happened no matter how much I want to. I understand and respect you but I am begging you to please give me a chance. I will get on my hands and knees if I need to. Please. Please please please please please.” His voice breaks and he takes a deep breath, trying to keep his tears and emotions inside.

Kayleighs bottom lip is wobbling and her resolve is slipping. She looks down, avoid eye contact. One look at him in such an emotional state and she is a goner.

“You look so beautiful tonight and I know before I walked in tonight you were looking forward to this evening. How about we have dinner together and once we are finished you can make a final decision. I know I don't deserve it and if you still feel that way at least we can part on nicer terms. What do you say?”

“I need to go to the ladies.”

Of all the things he expected her to say he was not expecting that.

“Em...OK. You're coming back, right?” John had every right to be nervous, after all this is how Kayleigh has escaped from her date with Jap Si!

She stared at herself in the mirror, eyes puffy but overall she was still looking pretty good for someone that has cried their bodyweight in tears. A small part of her still wanted to walk out and never look back but she knew if she did she would regret it for the rest of her life. Kayleigh didn't want to live her life with regrets. John seemed genuinely remorseful for what had transpired (or in this case hadn't) between them. She at least owed herself if anything the opportunity to see if they could really move on from this. She touched up her make up and gave her hair a quick check. Not bad she thought as she headed back towards their booth.

As she approached she could see John looking every bit as nervous as she was. Upon spotting her heading his way she could see the relief in his face and couldn't help but smile. He grinned back at her. She grabbed a seat and placed her handbag on the floor.

“So...?” John queried.

“I...” 

“Are you ready to order?” Said the waitress who interrupted. John was visibly irritated. Could she not bloody sense the tension at the table?

“Can you give us a few minutes please?” Sensing Johns tone the waitress quickly scurried off.

“Think you've frightened her. I would check your food for spit balls if I were you.” 

John was smiling from ear to ear.

“Does this mean you'll give me a chance.”

“I don't know what it means. At the moment, it means that I am willing to at least stay for dinner and get my moneys worth out of this new dress and heels. We'll just play it by ear and see what happens. OK?” She says cracking a small smile at him. He returns her smile and tension breaks a little.

“Right, best get looking through the menu before that waitress comes back.”

A few minutes later a waiter comes over and asks if they are ready to order. Kayleigh was surprised at Johns suggestion at a bottle of champagne. John never drinks and certainly does not purchase £75 bottles of alcohol. With their food and drinks orders in Kayleigh questions him about the champagne and he tells her that if this is to be their only date he wants it to be memorable for the both of them.

“Who says this is a date?” At Johns deer in the headlights look she adds “I'm joking” to the end of her comment.

“I 'eard you got employee of the month and sales are up since you joined your new store. I'm so proud of you. I don't mean that to come across as patronising. I mean it. You should be so proud of yourself.” Kayleigh looks down with a smile. That little smile she does when she's complimented by John. John continues on.

“I mean did you ever think there would be a day where Dave Thompson wanted you back at ours?”

“He doesn't?!” 

“He bleeding does. He's livid, even more so that I had to say I told you so. He never bloody listened when I told him you were the best promotions assistant we ever had. Soon changed his tune when the latest figures were published the other day. Least you got the last laugh being manager and all.”

“Temporarily. It's just maternity cover mind.”

“I'm telling ya. Even if Amy returns they are going to offer you a management position. They would be stupid to let you go. I would know.”

A silence settles over them but is broken when the waiter arrives with an ice bucket and champagne. The waiter seems to have taken a shine to Kayleigh, all smiles and even winks her way. This does not go unnoticed by John who is shooting daggers at him.

“Just leave it in the bucket mate. I can pour.” The waiter reads between the lines and leaves.

“That's both of them you've scared off. I'd be checking for snot as well as spit in your food!”

“I'll keep that in mind. 'kin hell. They need some training in here. First one interrupts when she can clearly see we were in the middle of something and the other one is shameless flirting.”

“John. Chill!”

“Sorry. You're right. You look so beautiful, can't blame him. I don't know if I already told you that.”

“You did but it's always nice to hear. You look very handsome tonight. Not trying to be funny but have you been working out?”

“I've lost a bit of weight but not through any conscious effort. Just been off my food which is unusual for me, I usually go the other way. Besides, I've had no-one bad influencing me to the drive thru or for a fat boy.” This causes Kayleigh to give a chuckle and it warms Johns heart. If John had to pick a favourite sound it would be the sound of her laugh. He laughs with her.

Before they know it their food is finished and the champagne bottle is empty. Thankfully they managed to slip back into the easy back and forth they had and conversation has been flowing well. After all they have had much to catch up on.

Yet another waiter appears to clear their table and inform them the restaurant section of the establishment is closed, they are however, free to continue their evening in the piano lounge down the hall. John thanks him and after much protest from Kayleigh, settles the bill.

“So... did you want to have a drink” He says motioning over to the piano lounge nervously.

She was tempted to keep him in suspense but it had taken them this long to get this far, now wasn't the time for teasing.

“I'd love to.” 

They settle into a secluded booth within the lounge. There are various couple up slow dancing to the music. Kayleigh offers to go get their drinks but John is having none of it. Eventually she backs down and tells him to surprise her when he asks what she wants. 

He arrives at the bar at the same time as the piano player who has just stopped to take a five minute break.

“That's some talent you have there mate. I'm into music myself. I were just wondering if you would help me out.”

“I can but try.”

“I'm here with someone very special to me and I've been an idiot so I'm trying my best to win her over again. Would you mind taking a request?”

“If I have the sheet music or know it well enough I will try and help you out. What song you after?”

“The way you look tonight. Could you play that in around 15/20 mins?”

“Not a problem.”

“Thanks mate. I really appreciate it.”

John collected his drinks and headed back to the table with a rum and coke for himself and a cheeky vimto for Kayleigh. Kayleigh laughed out loud when she spotted her drink.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“Taste it and see! Maybe limit yourself to a few this time. We don't need a repeat of the morning after you Kellys send off party!”

“No danger there. I told you, I'm too old for that now.”

“Never. If you are too old, that makes me too old.” He says taking sip of his drink.

“What were you saying to the piano player? You know him?”

“Never change, still a nosey bugger! I were just complimenting him on his playing were all.”

“All right!” They slipped into an easy conversation once more. Kayleigh was itching to dance but didn't want to push it as she knew it wasn't Johns thing. The first few bars of The Way You Look Tonight started play. John stood and extended his hand out to Kayleigh, his eyes pleading for her not to reject him. She looked up at him in shock initially then her face broke out into the biggest grin. John removed his suit jacket.

“'ere. We'll stay near the table and you can hide your handbag under my jacket.” Handbag hidden they headed to the dance floor.

It's a little awkward to begin with but the moment passes quite quickly. John wraps his arms around Kayleigh, one of her hands find his chest, the other wraps around his neck. She then lowers her head so it rests on his shoulder. They slowly sway to the music, just enjoying the closeness. As the song is coming to the end Kayleigh lifts her head and looks up into Johns eyes. Their dance has almost slowed down to a stop. Kayleigh licks her bottom lip which does not go unnoticed by John. They both slowly begin to lean into one another...


	10. Chapter 10

Lips millimetres apart, they both close their eyes and close the gap. What started off as a sweet peck has progressed into a rather heated making out session. Eventually they both realise where they are and the fact that they need to take a breath. They pull away slowly, chests heaving and with eyes still closed they savour the moment.

“I don't think we should have done that.”

“I'm so sorry Kayleigh. I didn't mean to force anything. It's just we were so close, you were looking so lovely and it felt like we had a moment.”

“No. Don't be daft. I meant we shouldn't have been kissing like a couple of horny teenagers in the middle of the dance floor in a fancy establishment. Lets get back to our booth.”

John smiles feeling relieved and guides her back to the booth, hand in hand. 

“So...”

“So...”

Moment over they are both a little shy and flushed in the face.

“So where did you get parked?”

“Oh I didn't take me car.”

“Get a lift from your Paul?”

“No got a taxi. To the hotel and walked from there.”

“Hotel?”

“Yeah, knew I would be havin' a drink and couldn't be arsed with the hassle of getting home. Managed to get one of those £29 rooms at the Travelodge around the corner. When you are ready to go, I'll come in the taxi to drop you off at your Mandys just to make sure you get back alright and then get it back to the hotel.”

“You just keep surprising me Jonathan.” He blushed at the use of Jonathan. He loved when she used it, felt like a pet name. It gave him hope that they really could repair the damage done. She continued on.

“I really have had a lovely time, despite everything I've really missed you but we really need to talk and be honest with one another before I come to any decision. Without inviting myself over, do you think we could grab a bottle of wine from the Teccos next door and go back to your hotel room to talk, just talk, and I can just call a taxi from there?”

“Give over! You are the bleeding queen of inviting yourself over!” Sensing she wasn't quite ready for this particular joke, he changed his tune pretty quickly and invited her over. The two of them got up to leave.

John draped his suit jacket over Kayleighs shoulders. At her expression he explained that it was probably a little nippy now as it was getting late, she'd feel the cold way before he did, especially as she had on a sleeveless dress. She thanked him as they headed out the door.

Heading into Teccos, Kayleigh made it very clear that she was getting the wine and asked for his preference to what was purchased. He told he trusted her judgement and would wait outside for her. She grabbed two bottles of wine and headed for the confectionery section for some snacks. Eyeing the Werthers she laughed at the memory of their day out to the safari park. For most it would be classified a disaster, however, it was one of her favourite memories with John. He made her laugh til she cried. Unfortunately, sometimes he just made her cry. Something had shifted in him for the better. She was sure, she hoped she was sure.

John stood outside to grab some fresh air. Nerves were starting to kick in. Feelings and emotions were not comfortable topics of conversation for him but if he wanted Kayleigh he'd have to learn to manage to speak about them. Boy did he want her. He just had to man up and prove to her that they both wanted the same things.

Kayleigh balanced her basket and handbag and headed to the checkout. She placed her basket down and quickly grabbed a hold of Johns jacket which had slid off one shoulder. She pulled it back into position and inhaled. Smelt just like John, she had missed that smell so much. Items scanned through she reached into her handbag to grab her purse and felt something scratch her finger. Looking into her bag to investigate she was horrified to find a condom packet. Well, three condom packets if you were particular. She grabbed her change back from the till assistant and shoved her purse back into handbag. Mandy. It had to be Mandy. Her sister had been going on at her for weeks to move on which was the whole reason why she had signed back up to heartsearchers. Mandys philosophy was that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. Kayleigh and Mandy viewed the world in very different ways.

John spied Kayleigh coming out the shop and proceeded to walk over so he could carry her bags. She looked...unsettled. Maybe she had changed her mind and just wanted to forget everything and go home. He tried to break the tension the best he could.

“Christ woman. Thought you were just going in for wine. Got half the shop here love!” To his relief she giggled.

“Quiet you. Got us some snacks, got you favourites – Werthers and “

“Werthers?!”

“I'm joking. Got you some Starbusts and wine gums for you. I know how you prefer your chewy sweets over chocolate.”

“Thanks. 'ere, gimme those bags.”

“Thank you Jonathan. Right, you better lead the way.”


	11. Chapter 11

The walk to the hotel was in relative silence. John was nervous about how the evening was going to end, tonight was make or break for them. Kayleigh was panicked over the discovery in her handbag. She didn't know why she is panicking so much which is making her panic more. She left for the evening expecting to have a date with a stranger and landed up spending the evening with the first man that she genuinely loved. Sex had never been on her agenda for the evening – was it now? No. Yes she loved John but it was too soon. Things looked good for them but they had a lot to work out before she was ready to chance her heart again. She was devastated when things went wrong between them, she couldn't imagine how much worse it would have been if they had taken that step and became intimate. Tonight was about making things right, sex would only complicate things.

“Right, this ones mine. Mind the mess, I weren't expecting company this evening.” John said as they arrived at his hotel room door.

They entered the room and Kayleighs initial thought was that John must run a tight ship at home. Nothing was out of place.

“'ere, grab a seat and I'll got grab those plastic wrapped disposable cups from the bathroom. Unless you prefer the coffee mugs but I'd put a wager on the disposables being more hygenic.”

“Oh yeah, you hear all sorts about people peeing in hotel kettles and such. Filthy pigs.”

John left to go to collect the cups and Kayleigh sat down in the only place she could. However, due to her height and the height of the bed it was rather uncomfortable so she landed up having to lie on the bed, back against the headboard. John walked out cups in hand, he hoped he managed to hide the brief moment of shock he had at seeing Kayleigh on the bed. There were no seats in his room so he couldn't really expect her to sit elsewhere but seeing her half laying there took his breath away. She really had no idea how beautiful she was and what she did to him.

“Right, wine coming straight up. Just as well you got the screw top kind or we might have had a problem.”

“Oh I'm sure reception could have helped us out.”

“Unlikely, they'll be unhappy that we've gone elsewhere and not lined their pockets by buying the over priced dishwater that they are trying to flog.”

Kayleigh giggled. “You never change do you.”

“Quiet you!” They shared a laugh together and then silence.

Silence. It was deafening. The both knew why they had returned to the room but now away from the safe space of having an audience, neither of them seemed willing to bring up the topic again. In the end John decided that after downing his glass (sorry plastic tumbler) of wine he was going to be brave and grab the bull by the horns.

“Listen. You know I'm not good at this kind of thing but we've come back to talk. I've already told you that I'd do anything for another chance. What do you need from me? What can I do to prove this to you?”

“That's the thing John, I don't know if you can. I don't even know where to start, this is so hard.”

“I know. Take your time and I'll do my best to answer any questions you have.”

“It's funny, I liked you from day one. Even when you called me dirty and were being a total Nazi about how to pronounce Bugibba.”

“We just met and you had thrown your piss at me!” At her look he pipped down and let her continue.

“It's like we clicked right away. We laughed, we shared things with each other that we didn't with other people. I felt like you saw me as Kayleigh the person and not just ditzy, naïve Kayleigh who doesn't know a courgette from a cucumber. I had hope that you liked me too. Then you started flirting with Rachel, exchanged numbers and talked about going for a drink. Rachel seemed to get further with you in two minutes than I did in weeks.”

“How do ye think I felt watching you drool over Ted 2 every morning?”

“Ugh, that were different.”

“How was that different?”

“It was harmless, from afar. I never had any real interest in him.”

“Rachel was harmless.”

“No she wasn't. You exchanged numbers, wanted to offer her a place on your Xmas team even though I had been asking for weeks. You know no-one loves Christmas more than I do Jonathan. When I told her she looked well, you agreed a little too enthusiastically. Up until then I thought you might have liked me too.”

“I did. I do. You must have known that. I went out my way to pick you up and drop you off every day.”

“People do that for friends too. That day I walked out the car, it made me question everything we ever shared. I mean are you only here because things went south with Rachel? If you liked me then why were you flirting with her?”

“I were jealous of you pining over Ted 2. It never occurred to me that you would ever be interested in someone like me. I mean look at you, look at me. It were nice to have someone interested in me and I'll admit that I liked that it annoyed you because it gave me hope that maybe you felt the same way I did.”

“John. I really wish you would stop comparing how we look. When I look at you I see a handsome, kind, grumpy git.”

“Thanks.” His tone was flat but she could see he was flattered.

“John, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest. Has anything ever happened with Rachel or anyone else since I left.”

“We werent together so what difference does it make?”

“It makes a difference to me. As you say, we were not together but it makes a difference to me.”

“No. Kayleigh, I were in pieces when you left. I've never wanted any other woman since the day you first sat in my car and threw your piss on me.”

Even when having a serious heart to heart, they always managed to share a laugh. Noticing that Kayleigh had finished her wine, he got up to fill both glasses back up again.

“Is there anything else you want to know?”

“Yes. What is going to be different this time? I don't want you entering into a relationship with me because you feel forced or are missing me as a mate. I told you John, I don't have time to waste. I need to know that you want the same things from life as I do.”

John adjusts himself on the bed so he is mirroring her position. He takes her wine and places it on the side table. Picking her hands up into his, he looks her dead in the eye.

“Kayleigh. Listen to me, I don't like Rachel and I never have. Not in any romantical sense anyway. I want to be with you and only you. I want us to be a couple and do couple things. Eventually, in the future when we are ready, I want us to get house, get married and have a couple of little Kayleighs running around. That is if you still like me once we've be courting for a while.”

“Oh John.”

“I love you Kayleigh. I love you so much. Please just...”

He is cut off by Kayleigh enthusiastically kissing him. Over the shock of the initial change in mood, he kisses her back with as much enthusiasm. After a few moments, they both pull away and feeling positively charged. Kayleigh is definitely starting to re-think her no sex on a first date rule. Her hands appear to have a mind of their own and are slowly undoing John shirt buttons. Her hand finds its way to his bare chest and caresses him. John being the perfect gentleman has tried to keep his hands to her waist, only skimming her bottom briefly. Little John is definitely up for what Kayleigh seems to be initiating, however, John conscience seems to be putting up a fight.

“Kayleigh, Kayleigh.” He says mumbled between her kisses.

“Hmm.”

“I don't think we should do this.”

Kayleigh pulls away, although the words themselves have just slapped her across the face.

“No. Let me rephrase that. I don't think we should rush into things tonight. It's been an emotional day and you've had a drink. I couldn't cope if you got up tomorrow and regretted it. I feel like I would be taking advantage of you. When this happens I want it to be special and memorable. I want you to be 100% sure. I couldn't handle the guilt if you woke up feeling differently tomorrow.”

“Oh John. You really are the sweetest man.” She says as she reaches up to touch his cheek. 

“I won't regret this, I know I won't but I appreciate you being so sweet. I've never dated a man like you. You're a good one John.”

“Well, I like to think so.”

“So.”

“So.”

“I really did miss you. Even when I was angry with you, I missed you. Did you miss me?”

“Course I did. What kinda bloody question is that? You just wanted to hear me say that you cheeky bitch.”

“Maybe.”

“No bloody maybe about it lady!”

“Diana!”

They both burst out into laughter. Things have shifted and it's starting to feel like old times but with a new and exciting spin.

“How about we catch up. We've wasted so much time. Tell me what you've been up to, how your Mandy, Steve and the kids are.”

“Yeah, well we won't waste any more. Steve is still pining over you. He'll be so happy when he finds out that you are back on the scene.”

Before they knew it hours had went by. They talked about everything and anything. Kayleigh yawned which caused John to glance at his watch.

“Bleeding 'eck. It's 4am.”

“You what?!”

“You heard cloth ears.”

“Guess I should be calling that taxi.”

“You could, or you could stay here.” John replied nervously.

“I thought you didn't want to do anything tonight.”

“You can stay over without their being any other motive. Anyway it wasn't that I didn't want to, it was that I thought...”

“I was joking.” She said cutting him off.

“Only thing is, I've got nothing to wear.”

John goes over to his suitcase and pulls out a clean t-shirt. 

“I were going to wear this tomorrow so it's clean. Will this do?”

“It's perfect.” She takes it from him and heads to the bathroom to get changed. She re-emerges a moment later still in her dress.

“John. Can you unzip me? I had to get our Mandy to do my dress up, I've only got little arms!”

“Not a bother.” He hoped his voice didn't convey how nervous he felt about doing something so small. His hand reached for her hip to steady himself and the other slowly pulled the zipper down. The dress was figure hugging and the zip stopped just after her behind. Beads of sweat were starting to appear on Johns forehead, the more of her back he exposed the hotter he felt. He could now see the straps of her lace bra. He was now down to the rear end, his hand followed the contour of her bottom and eventually stopped once he was just over it. He could see her underwear. Her very lacy, black barely there underwear. Oh boy was the lord testing him. Kayleigh seemed oblivious to Johns excitement, just thanked him and walked back to the bathroom to change. Whilst she was in there John decided to distract himself by tidying up. He picked up and neatly arranged their snacks on the table then picked up his suit jacket to hang it up. At that moment the bathroom door opened and Kayleigh stood there before him wearing his t-shirt which skimmed her mid-thigh. He abruptly lowered his jacket over his crotch. Yep, the lord was testing him alright.

“John, you OK? Your looking a bit flush?”

“Oh, yeah yeah. Just bursting to use the loo. You were bloody ages.”

“No I wasn't!”

John didn't argue back, he just needed to remove himself from the room before he embarrassed himself. Turning the cold tap on he splashed his face, trying to cool down. Christ, she was going to be the death of him. He tried to give himself a pep talk, he wasn't thirteen any more! He didn't regret his decision to not take things further, didn't make the situation any easier though. After a few moments he was feeling brave enough to go back to the main room and face Kayleigh. He hoped that she had taken the initiative to get into bed, he wasn't sure he could hope with seeing her half naked again.

Luck was on his side, Kayleigh was tucked into bed and appeared to be waiting patiently for him to join her.

“Thought you had fallen in? You got the alcopoops or something?” She teased.

“No, I didn't you cheeky cow. Just washing up if you must know. Nosey!”

He climbed on top of the covers fully clothed.

“What are you doing?”

“What?”

“What do you mean what? Why aren't you getting in?”

“It's called being a gentleman.”

“You can still be a gentleman and get in. Come on, I want a cuddle before I settle for the night.”

“I bet you do!”

“You're evil minded you are. Now get that shirt and trousers off and get in.”

“OK bossy. You like this with your staff?”

“Yes Jonathan. I'm always demanding that my staff take their clothes off and get into bed with me!”

“You know what I meant.”

Shyly, he removes his trousers and shirt and tries to slink into bed without Kayleigh seeing too much of his body. This doesn't go unnoticed, Kayleigh heart sinks that John could be feeling self conscious about his body. As a woman she is far too familiar with that feeling, she hates to think that John could be feeling that especially in front of her.

“John. You don't have to hide yourself from me you know. You are a very handsome man and lets face it, I'm no Cindy Crawford.”

“No, that you are not. You are far more beautiful to me. I know I'm no oil painting and I'm probably not as fit as the men you are used to dating. I just don't want you to ever feel like you've settled for some old, fat guy who works in a supermarket.”

“Are you calling me shallow?”

“No, I'm just calling it as it is.”

“No, your projecting you insecurities and putting words in my mouth. If I ever thought those things I woudn't be here right now. I would have given up completely months ago. Can you just accept I love you, all of you, and move on? Be happy together, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yeah, OK. Sorry.”

“Now come here, shut your cake hole and give me a cuddle.”


	12. Chapter 12

John awoke with a familiar 'tingly' feeling, one had hadn't really experienced in his sleep since he was a younger man. Coming to, he realised the reason. His hand had fully introduced itself to Cagney... or was it Lacey? Didn't matter, his hand clearly has a mind of its own whilst he was sleeping. Feeling uncomfortable with the situation due to Kayleigh not being awake to consent to said situation, he lowered it slowly with the intention of placing it at it own side. As his hand lowered it struck something metal. 'kin hell, she had a belly button piercing! He noted that she had kept that one quiet! His hand was making its final quest for freedom when Kayleigh grabbed it and pulled it back up towards her chest so she could snuggle into it. Not only that, she was...wriggling. Full on, her behind to his crotch, wriggling. Mother of god, she was trying to kill him.

“Kayleigh. Kayleigh love.” He whispered in her ear to rouse her gently.

“Hmm. Mornin' John.” She said pushing them closer together.

“Christ woman, are you trying to kill me?”

“What?!”

“Don't you what me! You know exactly what you are going. Cheeky!”

Laughing, she turned to face him. Her eyes met his and their laughing died out. Kayleigh felt like she was looking directly into Johns soul. Well, after all they do say that the eyes are the window to the soul. When she looked at him in that moment, she could see everything. She could see the love she felt for him, mirrored into her eyes. She could see her future, her future with him. She knew this was it. He spoke first.

“I love you.”

Kayleigh lowered her head in that little way she does when John complimented her. She lifted it back up to reply.

“I love you too, very much.”

They lean in for a kiss and pull away before things get out of hand as they are due to check out shortly. Kayleigh goes to the bathroom to get ready and John gets everything packed up whilst he is waiting. Ten minutes later she re-emerges with her dress hanging off of her.

“Can you zip me up please?”

“Not a bother.”

He has one last glance at her naked back before zipping her dress back up. He excuses himself to get ready in the bathroom. He's lucky that he can grab a shower and change into something clean, just as well he packed a couple of t shirts. Kayleigh uses the times to lie down on the bed and reflect over the events of the last 24 hours. She can't remember ever being this happy. All ready, John re-enters from the bathroom.

“So what's the plan?”

“How about we get a taxi back to mine so we can pick up me car? I can use it to drive you back to your Mandys, you can pack a bag for the weekend and come back to mine.”

“Mmm. Sounds wonderful. Only if you are sure.”

“Course I'm sure. I wouldn't 'av suggested it if I weren't.”

“OK.”

“OK. Now lets get a wiggle on and get out of here.”

They checked out and waited for the taxi that reception had called for them. It arrived fairly quickly and the journey to Johns was uneventful. As the taxi navigated the streets Kayleigh wondered what Johns home must be like. John was very particular so she imagined that it would be very tidy and organised. He probably had his DVDs in alphabetical order.

The taxi finally pulled up to what she assumed was Johns house, well the bright red fiat out front kind of gave the game away. Before John had time to protest, Kayleigh had paid the taxi driver explaining that she would have had to get a taxi anyway and he was being kind enough to take her home so it only felt right.

“'ere I'll just dump my case in the door and grab my keys. You can get the tour when we come back, I'm sure you're dying to get a shower and into some clean clothes.”

“Ugh, like you wouldn't believe.”

They hopped into the car and John pulled out onto the road. Kayleigh leaned forward to pop the radio on. It was set to the Magic radio station.

“What's this? Why haven't you got it tuned to Forever FM.”

“Oh, yeah. Em... once stopped car sharing it just didn't feel right. I missed you, it were making me depressed to listen to without ye.”

“Aww. Ain't you sweet. We'll I'm back now so let's get it on, eh.” John nodded in agreement.

She tuned it back in and smiled at the song that was playing. Finally found by the Honeyz was playing.

“Aww I loved this one when it came out. Could be about us.”

“Honeyz – Finally Found. 1998, I think.”

The car pulled up to a red light and John placed his hand on Kayleigh leg and gave her knee a squeeze. She looked up and smiled at him. The light changed and he removed his hand to put the car into gear.

“Oh, I forgot to say that Mandy text me to say that Steve has taken her and the kids out for the day so you don't have to worry about the third degree when you arrive. We'll have the place to ourselves.”

“Behave you!”

“What?! Don't know what you mean!”

“I bet you don't. I bet you don't!”

The rest of the journey was spent singing along to the songs on the radio. They arrive outside Kayleigh's just as Kayleigh by Marillion is finishing. 

“I don't want to stir up bad feeling or anything...”

“Oh god. What is it?”

“No, don't worry. It's not bad. Well I hope its not. The day you walked out of the car and I were texting...”

“Thought your said you weren't texting?!”

“You gonna let me finish or what?”

“Sorry, go on.”

“I was texting Forever FM to make a dedication for you. I asked them to say that no-one puts Kayleigh in the corner. It came on seconds after you got out the car. They played Kayleigh straight afterwards.”

“Oh John. I'm sorry.”

“No it were my fault really. I should have been direct. Anyway, it's in the past now. Doesn't matter.”

“That's so sweet. You are something else Mr Redmond. Right, come on then.”

“I were just going to go to the shop to get some bits whilst you were getting a shower.”

“Oh, OK. Well would you mind coming in to help me out of this dress first.”

John blushes.

“You've such a dirty mind John.”

“What! It's the way you say things! Come on, let get a move on. I'm starving. We can grab something on the way back to mine.”

John followed Kayleigh in the front door and took note of his surroundings. The house was tidy, fairly modern and still had that lived in feel to it. Pictures of what he assumed to be friends and family decorated the hall walls. He spotted what appeared to be a young Kayleigh and who he assumed to be Mandy wearing Christmas hats.

“Aww. This you and your Mandy? What Christmas was that?”

“Oh that wasn't Christmas John. That was summer 1994. We held a Christmas birthday party for Mandy. She let me pick the theme. Told you that I've always loved Christmas, I wasn't lying.”

“No, you certainly were not.” He loved getting a glimpse into her life before he knew her. He looked forward to seeing pictures of her childhood and hearing stories that he had never heard before. He was so excited for the future. Hand on heart excited. Oh he had the fears, any person usually does but he knew life would never be dull with Kayleigh in it.

He followed her up the stairs and into her box room which was cozy and oh so Kayleigh. She had twinkly lights above her headboard and lots of pictures in one large frame on one of the walls and a very small but very stylish looking dressing table which had her neatly arranged beauty products. John inhaled, he never thought being here in her room just standing would feel so intimate. It was nice to learn a little bit more about Kayleigh. He thought about all the times she would have probably been laying on that very bed and texting him at night. 

“This is home.” She gestured to the small space.

“It's lovely. Really.”

“Did your lamp break or...” He wanted to ask if she had thrown it out. He didn't have to ask, she knew what he was asking.

“Oh no, I could never have thrown away such a thoughtful gift. I just stored it away for a little while.” She knew he would know the reason why and didn't expand any further.

She turned around and asked him to unzip her so she could go get ready. Job done, he said he was off and would be back within the hour. She gave him her key and told him just to let himself back in upon his return.

“You sure you don't want to stay and help me scrub me back?”

“Oh, you are gonna get it.”

“That's the point!” She giggled.

“Right I'm off!” He leaned into her to give her a quick peck before leaving.

John headed for Asda Bury Marketside Superstore as he knew he would get everything he needed and there was also a good florist there so he could pick up some flowers for Kayleigh. The florist was recommended to him when his father had died.

He entered the store and decided to start with the toiletries aisle. Having car shared with her for some time he picked up on the things she would purchase like shampoos, body wash, etc. He picked up the ones he knew she liked, might as well have a few things to keep at his to save her having to carry hers back and forth. He moved onto the next aisle where the medicines were, his eye caught the condoms. He was stuck, should he buy? Would that be presumptive of him? Nah, she made it clear last night about what she wanted but then again that was when she had a drink and they hadn't discussed it since. Just then another person headed down the aisle in his direction, not wanting to be seen looking at the condoms he picked up the first thing on the shelf next to it and pretend to read th packet. They flashed him a smile and walked on. It was then he realised he was looking at diarrhoea medication. He wasn't sure which was worse! John decided he needed to give himself a little pep talk. He was 39, he had no reason to be embarrassed. Better to buy them now and not use them than getting into a situation where they were required and they didn't have any. What a ball ache that would be. A literal ball ache indeed.

Twenty minutes later he was out the supermarket and headed for the florist. He picked out something large and probably over the top but he wanted her to feel special and was still feeling some guilt over everything that had happened. Besides, he just loved to see her smile and get excited, there was no better feeling than being the cause of that happiness. Purchases in the boot, he headed towards Kayleighs. Hopefully she was quick at getting ready so they could get back to his and settle for the day.

He entered the house using the key and shouted her name.

“Come on up John, just finishing me hair.”

Super, that meant she must almost be ready. He entered her room to find her sitting at her dressing table in a very lovely looking silk gown. She wasn't dressed but at least she had done her make up and appeared to just be finishing her hair. He also happily noted that her lamp, once more, had pride of place on her window sill.

“Wearing this out today, are you?”

“No, don't be daft. I always get dressed last in case I get make up on me clothes. I'll just put some clothes on and pack a bag and we'll be good to go. Did you get everything you needed from the shop?”

“Yeah, I also bought you some shampoo, body wash and that so you can keep it at mine.”

“Aww, that's lovely. Thank you.”

Kayleigh was touched, his behaviour definitely seemed to indicate that he was taking this seriously. She was so happy.

Without warning she removed her robe and stood there in her underwear whilst she rummaged through her chest of drawers to find something to wear. Christ on a cracker. Boot camp had obviously had it's benefits, she was perfection. 

“You're a tease, lady!”

“No, I'm not.”

“Oh yes you pissing are.”

“No, a tease is all talk and no balls.”

“I hope your no balls!”

“John!”

“Just hurry up and get ready, I'm wasting away here!”

Half an hour later they were finally ready to go. Kayleigh had tried to pop her case in the boot but John had taken it from her and said he would just place it in the back seat as the boot was too full with the size of case she had packed. He joked that she was only staying for the weekend, not moving in.

They decided to grab a pizza on the way back and were happy to discover that they both favoured a Hawaiian. John had popped his Now 48 album in so they could sing along to Kayleighs favourite songs. Before they knew it they were parked outside Johns home, Kayleigh got out the car with the pizza and John grabbed her suitcase from the back seat. It was now Kayleighs turn to satisfy her curiosity about John living space. He unlocked the door and welcomed her in. By first glance it wasn't as modern looking as her Mandys but it was lovely – clean and tidy. Very John. John took her through to the kitchen and pointed out where the plates, cups, etc were kept and asked if she would mind setting up the table whilst he took in the shopping. He grabbed all the bags and left the flowers for now, deciding he would come back in a moment for them. He left one bag at the foot of the stairs and entered the kitchen with all the food shopping.

“Back in a sec, just going to put the toiletries upstairs and grab one last thing out the car.”

“Coolio. Almost set up here.”

John grabbed the bag at the bottom of the stairs and went up with it, everything bar the condoms went into the bathroom, he decided those would go in the bedside cabinet for now seeing as they were the most likely place they would be needed. He headed back out to the car and got the flowers out the boot, thankfully they were undamaged in transit. He headed back in and went into the kitchen. Kayleigh spotted them straight away (there was no missing them – they were huge) and let out a massive gasp.

“OMG. Are those for me?”

“No, not at all. Who else would they be for?” he jested.

“Oh John, they are lovely. You are such a sweet man. You don't have to keep spoiling me though. I'm not a high maintenance woman. I told you before, I'm happy with a take away and a cuddle on the sofa.”

“Oh, in that case I'll just put them back.”

“Let's not be hasty.” She said with a giggle.

“Right, lets get these in water and we can get eating. I'm wasting away here!”

Food finished, John gave the grand tour. Aside from the flower patterned wallpaper in the lobby the rest of the home was mainly clean white walls and minimal decoration. There were not as many photos in his home as there was in hers but it looked like most family members were represented.

“Oh, is that your dad?”

“Yeah, that's him.”

“Very handsome. You know they say if you want to know what your wife will look like when she is older you just need to look at her mother. I bet its the same for men too.”

“Hmm. Maybe. Right, i'll show you where the bathroom, etc is. Follow me.”

Kayleigh followed behind John closely and admired the view. That would do, that would do nicely. Very nicely.

“Right so this is the bathroom. I've popped your toiletries in this unit here if you need anything. Spare room is right across.”

“and your room?”

“Follow me.” John directed her to his room which was next door.

“Oh, so this is where the magic happens?”

“Something like that.”

Kayleigh decided to test the springs and hopped on.

“Hey! Careful. That's not for bouncing on.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Kayleigh started laughing at him.

“You know what I mean.”

“Nope, come and show me what it should be used for.” He knew the words were teasing but the meaning was there. He smiled and lay down next to her.


	13. Chapter 13

“Come on then Jonathan, rock my world.”

“Oh well, no pressure like.”

They both laugh. They both love this aspect of their relationship, that they share the same sense of humour and things are never too serious, just easy going. Of course as things progress serious conversations will have to take place, they will fight and they will make up. At this very moment everything is perfect.

“I wish I had planned a little bit better. I would have got some candles or scattered some rose petals or something.”

“John. I told you before, I don't live my life in a fairytale. I don't need rose petals or candles or incense. I just need you. That's all, that's all that matters. Whatever happens will be perfect because we love each other, we click. Don't you think?”

“Yeah, your right. I just think...”

“Nope. No more over thinking. Just do Jonathan.”

“OK.”

“OK then.”

They both lean in at the same time and their lips meet in a deep, sensual kiss. They were definitely good at the kissing. Surprisingly, John seemed to be taking the lead. He removed his lips from hers and started to pepper kisses on her cheeks, neck then eventually the top of her chest. His hands reach for the bottom of her top and looks at her for silent permission to remove it which she grants with a nod. She lifts her body up slightly and raises her arms so he can remove the garment. Top removed, he continued his journey to discover her body with his lips. Her skin was so soft and warm, he also loved the way it smelt – part Jade Goody Shush and part something distinctly Kayleigh. He paid extra special attention to her chest, lowering her bra straps to grant himself full access. Kissing his way down ever so slightly caused Kayleigh to let out a very seductive moan, her hands grappled his hair. She was enjoying this as much as he was, he thought. He kissed his way back up her neck and eventually to her lips once more. 

“I'll just get this lamp on and switch off the big light” John said. Kayleigh groaned in frustration that they had stopped momentarily.

John got up to follow up on the plan, lamp on and light off he stood at the foot of the bed and took Kayleigh in. She lay there before him topless, flushed and looking every bit as turned on as he was. She has used the initiative to remove her bra completely. Reality was so much better than any fantasy he could have come up with.

“Come on now, catch up. Get that t-shirt and jeans off!”

“Christ, you're bossy in bed aren't ya?!”

“Hmm. You like it?”

“Behave you!”

“Chop chop!”

“Alright, alright.” 

He removed his t-shirt and jeans as directed and discarded them on the chair in the corner of the room. He hoped he was managing to hide how self conscious he was feeling. Kayleigh picked up on this right away.

“You are a very handsome man Mr Redmond. Get those cute buns over here and finish what you started. 

He does. Picking up where they left off, John lavishes her neck with soft kisses and makes a mental note that she seems to like her neck being kissed based upon the noises she was making. One of his hands has found a home on Cagney, before he decides to do some further exploring he whispers into her ear.

“I want this to be memorable for the both of us for the right reasons. If there is something you don't like, just let me know and if there is something you do like that I'm not doing, just let me know.”

“You're sweet to say but you're doing a pretty good job. Just keep going and I'm sure we'll be fine.”

After another 10 minutes of heavy petting, Kayleigh decided to take charge, rolling them over so she was now on top. She shimmy’s herself down so that she is resting near enough his feet. Leaning forward she grabs the waist band of his boxers and pulls them down. She stands up at the end of the bed so that she can remove them fully. Impressive, very impressive. So impressive that she stood there in a day dream just staring at him.

“I'm getting self-conscious here!”

“Oh, sorry! Here, does this help?” She said removing the remainder of her clothing.

“Oh, so much better!” He said wiggling his eyebrows. He reached over to his bedside table to retrieve his earlier purchase.

“Oh someone came prepared. Were you a boy scout John?”

“Nope, just a man eager to make love to his very beautiful girlfriend. That OK?”

“Sounds perfect to me.”

The time for talk was over, John was now dressed for the occasion so to speak. They started off slow, just kissing, caressing and exploring the new parts of each other. At Kayleighs nod they connected in the final way that still remained. John was feeling so overwhelmed and full of love for her, he was worried that it would end too soon. He was doing everything in his power to distract himself in order to last that bit longer. He was half way through reciting a conversation he once had with Dave Thompson about KPI's when he realised that perhaps it wasn't about him slowing down but about her speeding up. Besides he had picked up the odd Cosmo when alone in the break room and knew that sometimes woman needed a little bit more assistance. I snaked his hand in between them until it reached its destination. Yep, he was definitely in the right place. 

The snuggled up panting and both looking extremely satisfied and happy with themselves.

“That were summit else.”

“Certainly was. Just imagine how good we are going to be with some practice?”

“Can beat perfection John.”

“Yeah, you're right but we can try.”

“Yep, I know how you always like to give 110%, push your envelope and all that bollocks.”

“You're a right cheeky bitch sometimes but I love the bones of you. You know that, right?”

“I do. I love you too. Right come on, round 2”

“Jesus wept!” He exclaimed as he rolled over on top of her as she giggled uncontrollably.


End file.
